<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>You'll be okay. I promise. by definitelynotmoritzstiefel</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24669433">You'll be okay. I promise.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/definitelynotmoritzstiefel/pseuds/definitelynotmoritzstiefel'>definitelynotmoritzstiefel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Modern AU, Moritz has bipolar disorder, Overdose, Suicide Attempt, fight me, i havent mentioned it in the fic so far but it's basically canon, moritz needs a hug and he will get one goddamnit pt 2, slight emetophobia warning so be careful, tw for suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:40:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,854</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24669433</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/definitelynotmoritzstiefel/pseuds/definitelynotmoritzstiefel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>His throat felt dry and raspy and he cleared it carefully, his eyes still focussed on the sink.<br/>As he started coming back to his senses, there was one clear thought that was louder than the ringing in his ears and his own ragged breathing;<br/>I fucked up.</p><p>Or the AU where Moritz overdoses on pills and Melchior is not as level-headed as he pretends to be (but he really does try)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So this is just the first two parts of something I wrote quickly and late at night. Tw for suicidal thoughts though this is not really explicitly stated, and slight emetophobia warning for a mention of (more like reference to)  vomit in the next chapter (I didn't want to do it but it's very slight and makes it more realistic imo and it's not gross it's sweet I swear)</p><p>thank you to @Lillian_the RENThead for inspiring lots of the things in this fic :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Moritz swallowed hard as the plastic of the container hit the sink, struggling to catch his breath.<br/>
His hands trembled as they gripped the cold porcelain, his knuckles white. The zooming in his ears started to intensify and he blinked forcefully a couple of times, trying to will himself back into reality.<br/>
<br/>
<em>Oh no. Fuck.<br/>
</em><br/>
His throat felt dry and raspy and he cleared it carefully, his eyes still focussed on the sink.<br/>
As he started coming back to his senses, there was one clear thought that was louder than the ringing in his ears and his own ragged breathing;<br/>
<br/>
<em>I fucked up.<br/>
</em><br/>
He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, but the thought would not leave him.<br/>
<br/>
<em>I fucked up.<br/>
</em><br/>
His breaths started coming quicker now and he craned his neck back to get rid of the ringing, but it would not go and he messed up and –<br/>
<br/>
He snapped back into reality at the sight of his own reflection in the bathroom mirror, his own wide, scared eyes staring back at him. He swallowed again with difficulty and his stomach twisted as his right hand brushed against the empty container, sending it sliding into the sink with a haunting 'tick'.<br/>
<br/>
“Fuck.”<br/>
<br/>
He didn’t know why he said it or who he said it to, but his voice came out gravelly and involuntarily at the sight of his own pale complexion, the buzzing of the empty pill container still resonating in the sink.<br/>
<br/>
“Fuck.”<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>as mentioned before, slight emetophobia warning</p><p>Also! Let boys show platonic physical affection!!! </p><p>(Melchior cares about Moritz a lot no matter what anyone tries to tell me)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Melchior stumbled down the stairs in the dark with his right arm trailing the wall. His thoughts were fuzzy with sleep and his limbs wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed. Had it not been for the tap on his window a minute or two ago, that’s exactly where he would have been right now.<br/>
A chill blast of air woke him up as he opened the front door.<br/>
<br/>
“Moritz?” he asked, now a lot more awake. “It’s – it’s 3 AM – did you walk here? Are you oka –”<br/>
<br/>
“I took a lot of pills. What – what do I do?”<br/>
<br/>
Melchior’s stomach dropped. “P-pills? Wait – Moritz – what?” he stammered, pulling his friend inside and shutting the door.<br/>
Moritz stumbled and was immediately pulled into the kitchen by Melchior, who switched on the light above the kitchen sink so Moritz could see his worried face.<br/>
“Moritz – what – how – ” He cupped Moritz’s face with his hands, as if that was the only way he could get a grip on what was going on. His cheeks were cold and rosy.<br/>
<br/>
“How many is <em>a lot</em>, Mo?”<br/>
<br/>
Moritz could feel his own heart violently beat in his chest. “A whole bottle?” he stammered.<br/>
He had no idea why he phrased it like a question.<br/>
<br/>
Melchior’s eyes widened. “Oh – fuck, Mo –”<br/>
He carded his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath, placing his hands on Moritz’s arms after. “Okay – wait – uh – ”<br/>
<br/>
Moritz stood frozen to the floor, his arms shaky under Melchior’s grip. He saw something on Melchior’s face that he hardly ever saw there. Something that he never wanted to see there.<br/>
Something that he had caused.<br/>
<br/>
Panic.<br/>
<br/>
“Uh – okay – uhm – how are you feeling – how – when did you t-take them? Wait – you walked here, so that means it’s been at least 20 minutes – man, I can’t believe you walked – you should have called –”<br/>
<br/>
Moritz just looked at him, his eyes big. “I – I feel okay –”<br/>
<br/>
That was a lie. His vision was clouded, his head was pounding and his stomach hurt. His ears hadn’t fully stopped ringing yet.<br/>
<br/>
“Moritz, please be honest with me,” Melchior said. He squeezed Moritz’s arms. He was aware that his hands were now trembling and he tried to regulate his breathing. “How are you feeling?” he repeated.<br/>
<br/>
Moritz swallowed, his throat thick with nausea. “A-a little sick?”<br/>
He kept asking questions. Why did he keep asking questions?<br/>
<br/>
He swayed suddenly as his knees near buckled and he grabbed onto the chair behind him, but Melchior somehow managed to catch both Moritz and the chair before either hit the ground.<br/>
<br/>
Moritz tried catching his breath. “And d-dizzy?”<br/>
<br/>
“I’m taking you to the ER, okay?” Melchior said, and it wasn’t a question at all.<br/>
<br/>
“No –” Moritz stammered, wriggling out of Melchior’s grip, “ – I feel – I feel f-fine – ”<br/>
<br/>
Melchior pulled Moritz closer by his arm, draping his own coat from the kitchen table over Moritz’s shoulders.<br/>
“I’m taking you to the ER,” he repeated, seeming a bit more frantic by the second.<br/>
<br/>
His movements were hurried as he grabbed a coat for himself and then Moritz’s arm again.<br/>
“Alright, Mo?”<br/>
<br/>
Moritz watched from above as Melchior gathered his stuff and anxiously pulled him towards the door, as if he was floating rather than standing next to Melchior. He looked at the worry on his friend’s face and the bags under his tired eyes.<br/>
<br/>
<em>He</em> did this. <em>He</em> fucked up.<br/>
<br/>
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.<br/>
<br/>
Melchior stopped at once, his car keys already in hand, the door already open. His expression softened, but the panic was still present in his voice.<br/>
“What? No!” he said. “We’re going to solve this, okay? You’re going to be alright. I promise.”<br/>
He squeezed Moritz’s arm when he didn’t respond.<br/>
“I promise.”<br/>
<br/>
Moritz nodded. His thoughts were starting to get increasingly fuzzy.<br/>
“Okay,” he said quietly.<br/>
<br/>
Melchior flashed a quick smile, steering Moritz into the cold night air towards the car. He ushered him inside the passenger side, going as far as fastening his seatbelt for him. Then, after slamming the door, Melchior jumped behind the wheel and shifted the gear, the car slowly pulling out of the driveway. As soon as they were on the main road, he turned to Moritz.<br/>
<br/>
“If you feel anything, you tell me, alright?”<br/>
He was driving faster now, running a red light in the process.<br/>
“It’s only a 15 minute ride to the hospital and I'm about to do it in 10. But if anything is hurting or – or if you’re not feeling well, let me know, okay?”<br/>
<br/>
Moritz didn’t respond. He just looked at Melchior in the pale light of the passing street lights, before nodding slowly.<br/>
He was feeling increasingly drowsy, not fully capable of keeping his eyes open anymore.<br/>
<br/>
“Do you want music?” Melchior said, faking calmness. “I think you left your Green Day CD here –”<br/>
<br/>
“Oh, that’s where it was,” Moritz murmured quietly, feeling himself slip away slowly as the music started playing in the background of his distorted thoughts.<br/>
<br/>
“Moritz?” Melchior said urgently what seemed like hours later, but in reality it was merely a couple of seconds.<br/>
“Please don’t close your eyes. Okay?”<br/>
<br/>
A clammy hand on his cheek brought Moritz back to reality.<br/>
<br/>
“Mo? Can you hear me? Can you say something?”<br/>
Melchior was looking back and forth between Moritz and the empty road.<br/>
“Mo? Can you say –”<br/>
<br/>
Moritz hummed, his head pounding and the tight feeling in his chest increasing rapidly. He softly pulled Melchior’s hand from his cheek.<br/>
<br/>
“Mo?”<br/>
<br/>
The feeling intensified and his stomach lurched.<br/>
<br/>
<em>No. No, this wasn’t right.<br/>
</em><br/>
Moritz shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Pull over,” he moaned, his hand clasped over his mouth.<br/>
<br/>
Melchior looked at Moritz, back at the road and back at Moritz.<br/>
<br/>
Six more minutes. Six more minutes and they would be in the ER.<br/>
<br/>
“No,” Melchior then said, turning around and feeling behind his seat with his right arm, his heart hammering in his chest.<br/>
<br/>
“What?” Moritz breathed. His left hand searched for Melchior’s arm. “M-melchi – p-please I’m going to –” A plastic bag was pushed into his arms instead.<br/>
<br/>
“I need to get you to the emergency room. I am not pulling over.”<br/>
<br/>
Moritz breathed heavily, feeling tears well in his eyes.<br/>
<br/>
“Fuck – I – I’m sorry, Mo – but – but if I pull over and don’t get you to the ER before – before – before you – I – I would never forgive myself.”<br/>
Melchior’s fingers were tingling and he tapped them on the steering wheel.<br/>
<br/>
Moritz wasn’t really listening. He sat doubled over with his arms leaning on his knees, taking shallow, shaky breaths. A trembling hand now rested on his back, rubbing slow circles. Moritz screwed his eyes shut, the nausea suddenly overwhelming.<br/>
<br/>
“I’m sorry,” Melchior said quietly, and he sounded like he really meant it. “I’m so sorry, Mo... You’ll be okay – I’m – I’m just trying to do the right thing –”<br/>
<br/>
Moritz tried to focus on the warm hand between his shoulder blades as spots swam before his eyes.<br/>
<br/>
“I trust you,” he breathed.<br/>
<br/>
Melchior bit back the tears he could feel burning behind his eyes.<br/>
“Thank you, Mo – uh – try to take d-deep breaths, okay?”<br/>
<br/>
“Okay,” Moritz repeated. “Deep breaths.”<br/>
He tried to follow Melchior’s counting but his head was pounding and <em>oh god, he fucked up – he fucked up so bad –<br/>
</em><br/>
“Does that help?” Melchior asked, desperately looking over to his friend who now had tears dripping down his cheeks.<br/>
<br/>
“N-no –” Moritz hiccupped. He gripped the bag tighter. “I’m sorry – ”<br/>
<br/>
He was sobbing now.<br/>
<br/>
“Ssshh, no, no, you’re okay,” Melchior said, blinking away the tears in his own eyes.<br/>
“I’m here, you’re okay.”<br/>
<br/>
“S-sorry –”<br/>
<br/>
“I’m here, you’re okay,” Melchior repeated.<br/>
He now kept his eyes on the road and his hand on Moritz’s back still.<br/>
“You’ll be fine. I promise.”<br/>
<br/>
Moritz tried to sit up. “C-can I h-hold your hand?” he sobbed.<br/>
<br/>
“Yes, of course –” Melchior moved his arm and gripped Moritz’s cold trembling hand tightly.<br/>
“You’re okay,” he said.<br/>
<br/>
“O-okay.”<br/>
<br/>
“I’m here,” he repeated, squeezing his fingers. “I’m here and you are going to be okay. I promise.”<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reading! Definitely let me know what you think, it warms my heart</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>okay okay okay here's the next chapter</p><p>It is pretty angsty, but that's just my style. </p><p>(I promise everything will be okay in the end)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Eyes open, Mo – Yeah, there you go, you’re doing good.”<br/>
<br/>
Moritz took multiple shallow, painful breaths and tried to sit up from the thick, white hospital pillows, but Melchior eased him back down.<br/>
<br/>
“Easy, you’re okay,” he said. “Take a deep breath, alright?”<br/>
<br/>
“ –hurts –”<br/>
<br/>
“I know, I’m sorry, but you need to breathe, Mo.”<br/>
<br/>
Moritz could feel his eyes being dragged close by drowsiness, but he tried to open them as wide as he could. Melchior had asked him to.<br/>
<br/>
“ – ‘m scared –” he slurred.<br/>
<br/>
“Ssshh,” Melchior cooed as his thumb rubbed the back of Moritz’s hand. “I know, I know – you’re going to be okay.”<br/>
He used the thumb of his other hand to wipe some of the tears of Moritz’s face.<br/>
<br/>
They were silent tears. No sobbing. No hiccups.<br/>
The moment Melchior’s hand touched his cheek, however, that changed.<br/>
<br/>
“I’m sorry, Melchi – I – I f-fucked up – I – I’m so s-scared –” He was stammering incoherently, trying to push himself up for the little power he had left in his arms.<br/>
<br/>
“Ssshh – hey – hey –”<br/>
<br/>
“I’m sorry – I – I fucked up –”<br/>
<br/>
Melchior gently pushed him back into the pillows, not letting go of his hand. “You’re okay, I’ve got you – hey, ssshhhh –”<br/>
<br/>
“I’m s-s-sorry –”<br/>
<br/>
“Ssshh, Moritz, hey, stop apologizing,” he said quietly, brushing away more tears. “You’re doing good. I’ve got you. The doctor’s going to be here in a minute, okay?”<br/>
Melchior anxiously looked at the green curtains that blocked off their little section of the triage room.<br/>
“Don’t be scared. They’ll be here any second. They’ll take good care of you.”<br/>
<br/>
They had been lucky in a way; due to the odd hour of the night they arrived at, the ER was not busy and Moritz had been able to get a bed almost instantly. The nurse who helped them get here said there would be a doctor with them right away.<br/>
<br/>
They were still waiting. Logically, Melchior knew it had only been a few minutes at most. However, his brain was not thinking logically right now, unfortunately.<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah?” Moritz looked at Melchior and sobbed, which brought Melchior back from his train of thought.<br/>
<br/>
“Absolutely. Sshh, now calm down, okay?” Melchior said, squeezing his friend’s hand. “You’re doing good, Mo.”<br/>
He rubbed circles with his thumb on the back of Moritz’s hand.<br/>
“Ssshh, you’re okay. Take a deep breath. You’re okay.”<br/>
<br/>
Moritz’s breathing gradually slowed down and when the worst of it was over, he let his tense shoulders relax for a second.<br/>
Melchior wiped the hair from his clammy forehead.<br/>
<br/>
“ – ‘m sorry, I’m all sweaty ‘nd gross,” he mumbled as he nonetheless leaned into the touch.<br/>
<br/>
Melchior smiled, getting a tissue from the bedside table to wipe Moritz’s face. “Oh, this is nothing,” he said softly with a smile, “have you <em>seen</em> Bobby Maler after gym class?”<br/>
<br/>
Moritz swallowed thickly, forcing a smile. The fatigue was starting to get worse and worse, which freaked him out at first, but now, it just made him want to close his eyes.<br/>
<br/>
“Hey – look at me, Moritz.”<br/>
<br/>
He hummed in response, forcing his eyes open with all his might.<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah, that’s it – can you talk to me? I know I’m asking a lot of you right now, but you can’t go to sleep just yet, alright? I need you to stay awake for me.” Melchior wiped his left hand on his grey pyjama pants, the right one still around Moritz’s.<br/>
“How about – how – uh – how about you tell me about your day?”<br/>
<br/>
Moritz bit his lip. He was trying so hard to focus, but the blurry image of Melchior’s worried features next to him started to fade with every laboured breath.<br/>
He shook his head.<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah – no, of course – sorry, that was – that was a bad question – uh –” Melchior was starting to panic more, glancing at the curtain every few seconds, hoping someone would come now.<br/>
“Or – or – uh – how about  – uh – did you listen to the new – the new song they released – uh – Blink-182, I mean – wow, uh – can you believe they still release music? How old are these guys, I mean –”<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah,” Moritz said hoarsely. “ ‘s good.”<br/>
<br/>
Melchior could feel the adrenaline rushing through his veins as he ruffled Moritz hair to keep him awake. “You like it? Well – that’s – that’s great because I – I – I mean, I was going to keep this a secret but – uh – but I got us concert t-tickets. For – for your birthday.”<br/>
<br/>
The corners of Moritz’s mouth twitched up into a smile. “Wait - really? I thought you didn’t like Blink?”<br/>
His voice trailed by the end of it, but it was the longest, most coherent sentence in a while, so Melchior called it progress.<br/>
<br/>
“I mean – they’re alright –”<br/>
<br/>
Moritz frowned tiredly.<br/>
<br/>
 “Okay, well, I mean, not really but... but I like my best friend.” He smiled and squeezed Moritz’s hand.<br/>
<br/>
“Really? Y’really bought t-tickets for – for me?”<br/>
<br/>
“Yes – of course! I was thinking we could make it, like, a whole day, like, we could – we could get Chipotle and drive there... My mom already said I can have the car for the day so... I mean – unless you think Chipotle is lame because then we don’t have to –”<br/>
<br/>
“Jus’ you ‘n me?” Moritz said and he smiled.<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah – if – if that’s okay? I mean – oh – I should have asked if you had any other plans – I’m sorry, it’s just we haven’t really hung out in – in a while and I thought it would be nice to just have it be us and –”<br/>
<br/>
Moritz was smiling for real now. “Best gift ever,” he murmured.<br/>
<br/>
Melchior smiled but saw Moritz's eyes close slowly, prompting him to quickly put his hand on his cheek again. “Eyes open, man, just a bit longer, alright?”<br/>
<br/>
He glanced at the green curtain again, which, to his relief, was now being pulled open by a doctor.<br/>
<br/>
“Herr Stiefel?”<br/>
<br/>
Moritz opened his eyes, blinking dazedly. “Jus’ Moritz, please –” he slurred.<br/>
<br/>
“17 years old, male, overdosed on opioids –”<br/>
<br/>
Melchior cringed at that, gripping Moritz’s hand even tighter now. He could see Moritz getting scared at the hustling of medical staff around him.<br/>
<br/>
"Decreased level of conciousness, drugs ingested within the last hour -"<br/>
<br/>
“Hey,” he whispered to get his attention.<br/>
 <br/>
Moritz looked over, eyes open as wide as he could muster now.<br/>
<br/>
“You’re okay. It’ll be over soon, okay?”<br/>
<br/>
“Okay,” Moritz repeated, barely audible over the voices of the medical staff.<br/>
<br/>
"Gastric lavage would be the appropriate procedure -" </p><p><br/>“Am I gonna die?”</p><p><br/>
Moritz’s voice was no more than a whisper, yet Melchior’s stomach turned and the hair in his neck stood up. He gripped his hand tighter, feeling Moritz’s clammy, thin fingers tangle with his own as panic started rising in his chest once more, even more vigorous than before.</p><p>He looked at his best friend, all of a sudden so vulnerable in the clean white bed. His eyes were red, his cheeks blotchy and his slightly parted lips were chapped and swollen. The deep purple circles under his eyes stood out against the now much paler than otherwise tone of his skin.<br/>
<br/>
And despite this all, his eyes were still blue and soft. His hair was still untameable and messy. There were still freckles on his nose and a ghost of a rosy blush under his pale, tear stained cheeks.<br/>
<br/>
Moritz wasn’t gone yet.<br/>
He was still there.<br/>
<br/>
And there was no way -there was no way <em>on earth</em> - that Melchior would be losing him tonight.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"No," Melchior said, sounding more resolute than he had the whole night. "Not on my watch."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! I hope to update again soon! If you like it, please let me know :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>